writing

There is a security in sharing, a security in growth, a security in learning more, a security in knowing what you know you know, a security in the heartbeat, a security in death, a security in receiving, a security in being childlike, a security in sincerity, a security in love felt through all the senses.

Taurean experiencing embraces what is all sustaining for the body, for the heart, and for the earth. There is wisdom in moving through pleasure and in understanding that what feels good, looks good, tastes good, smells good, and sounds good is probably worth pursuing. And, of course, “good” is defined differently by each of us just to offer proof that there is always more than enough for everyone if we are honest with ourselves and dependable with what we uniquely desire.

To understand Taurus wisdom outside of the narrow grid of capitalist thinking means that the pursuit of these things do not/should not need to occur at the expense of others. There is recognition of the physical interconnectedness between ourselves and our surroundings which ignites a unique creative impulse in service of life and living beautifully. There is a motivation for sustained growth, for thinking long term in every aspect of life and not being afraid to move very slowly in order to maintain a vision.

What sustains “my life” is always the central point of Taurus sensibility and wholly answering this question inherently implies “our life” whether or not we consciously choose to view it this way. Anything which thwarts or makes inaccessible the thriving of life in general just doesn’t align with the spirit or logic of this sign which is guided by the promise and general predictability of the seasons and cycles of the earth. The common personality marker of Taurus being “stubborn” has a lot to do with the fact that they are entrained with this fixed way of understanding and being which is that of earthly rhythm. Why would you rush a bud to bloom? It takes the time it takes so let it be.

For the next full year Jupiter will be moving through the soft and slow Taurus meadows, bringing renewed optimism and generosity to this sign which has been undergoing major shifts since 2018 when Uranus entered with all its electricity and destabilizing qualities. The Taurus part of our chart and how we collectively experience this sign has gone through massive upheaval and inspired change which to me signals that this Jupiter transit will be coming through to expand even further the breakthroughs (perhaps with more ease than shock this time), to bless and celebrate the changes that have occurred here, and to offer more opportunities to embody the Taurean qualities mentioned above with great benefit to ourselves and the collective.

The quality of Uranus is that of being turned on your head. What does the world look like now? What does life in full bloom look like from this perspective? Where have we lost our internalized animal rhythm in service of something else trying to promise us “abundance”? Uranus has been bringing these questions to the surface through intensified collective upheaval around our most basic needs and all the systems which have repeatedly failed them and deprioritized them. How we each have been made to confront this is unique to us, just as sure as it ripples back into the collective experience.

This next year for each of us may signal a period of returning to earth consciousness in our own way. I have been thinking a lot about reciprocity this last year particularly and how a societal structure which functions primarily on the belief that—when you put hours of your time to X then you will receive a monetary exchange from X for this time—limits the truth of how reciprocity actually works. It is true that we can put energy in and receive it back in a one-to-one relationship but it’s also true that we are constantly receiving, especially from the natural world. Our impact reaches far beyond us and reverberates back in all directions at all times. We are not bound to that which we put our energy into, same as that which gives to us is not bound to us. There is freedom in understanding that our needs are constantly being met from all directions. We give so much of our life force in exchange for a paycheck so we can pay for things that sustain life. But life is fairly self sustaining if we actually respect and care for it. If we are being made to feel somehow completely out of line for believing this, my hope is that Jupiter’s influence in Taurus will support a collective shift to more common sense when it comes to life.

Seeing so many astrologers focusing in on this being a time of great wealth and abundant money times just feels off from the whole understanding of this sign. The only reason Taurus is connected to money is because we have made money the thing which sustains life. The sense of stability this creates is not the same as the stability this sign craves where respect for natural cycles of growth, and nurturing beauty through caretaking this, is often the most dependable way to experience true security.

May this time of Jupiter traversing the cracked earth bring gentle rains and cooling reassurance to our internal knowing that resilience and beauty is just as inherent within each of us as it is within the soil. It is right to thrive and right for us to hold out our hands and receive.

xo,

Evan

What is the purpose of surrendering our most precious hopes and dreams? Every attachment made in both fear and love to the fires that burn them away?

Hello, eclipse season.

We reach this portal twice a year where things become accelerated, destabilized and easier to vision beyond our current perspective. There is more blatant cracking open of the hidden parts of our inner world, potentially catalyzed through external circumstances we never could have imagined.

Astrologers through time have described eclipses as powerful change making moments that—depending on your personal level of trust and perspective on things—are meant to be feared, revered, mitigated, explored, surrendered to, celebrated or something to befriend and to ride. No matter the perspective, eclipse seasons are often spoken of as a time to release and allow for change to come and work your life.

This particular season feels deeply reflective with Mercury in Taurus slowing down to prepare for retrograde just as the Sun and Moon at the last degree of Aries swiftly move into Taurus and properly cross the North Node which has not fully moved into Aries yet. There is an element of catching the most brilliant few seconds of a film, a surge of energy through the body letting us know one potential flash of what is to come, followed by dark retreat and flood lights turned back on in the room we have been sitting in for quite some time and know very well. This year brings that liminal quality of being between experiences as the eclipses in April, May, and October will open up new parts of our psyche related to the Aries/Libra axis while continuing to work the Taurus/Scorpio parts of chart one last time.

From April 20 – May 5 we exist between eclipse points. Accessing and understanding our capacity for surrender through this portal can deeply support whatever is rising up in our lives and demanding to be seen.

Letting go has always been somewhat of a mystery to me. So much of the expression around it is saturated in the energy of resistance, rejection, anger, resentment, self aggrandizing that cuts, protection from a place of fear. Releasing the toxicity of something outside of us only to find it again and again because it is part of us.

My incredibly fixed nature needs to see things all the way through. And often that experience is way more than most people are comfortable with. It has left me trapped in various parts of my own psyche for years trying to understand why. It is something I’ve resented about myself and also cherished in just how prolific it can be in making meaning of life.

I recognize the magic inherent within the mutable signs, an openness and comfortability around change, gaining what is presently needed and letting themselves be carried away to what is next. Similar to cardinal energy, which fearlessly initiates and drives toward new experiencing. Yet, there is equal wisdom in holding, reviewing, working a thing from every angle. Fixed energy doesn’t need a lot of experiences in order to understand the lesson but it may take just as long as it would mutable or cardinal energy flowing through or initiating a variety of experiences all presenting the same pattern. It is all relative truly and there are gifts and challenges with each approach.

There are a few things I have come to understand about the process of release.

• It is a superpower to be able to accept where you are. To say “I feel ______” and “I am still attached to ______” and to truly be at peace with that in the present.

• Surrender has less to do with cutting away and more to do with recognizing who we are right now while meaningfully asking for things to fall away that are not meeting us there. It is the deeper understanding and knowing that when we release all that is not us we are returned to the truth that everything is us.

True surrender is in service of everything. It allows for more of us to be present. Our higher selves shine brighter from the heart space when we let go of what is not fully meeting this authentic part of us.

Release does not need a big ritual and is not a one time event. It is actually something to practice every day just as you might take a shower or mindfully return to your own breath. It is a conversation with yourself, meeting yourself exactly where you are and detaching from all else in respect and with gratitude.

Whatever is meant to move alongside of us will always return again and again in each form we take. This is why it is important to learn detachment from what we cherish and desire just as much as we release “negativity.” What is meant to meet us will find a way to align with our energy just as much as we seek and grow to align with it.

If you feel the need to cut people out, to get away from an experience, or to hold tightly to it, try to return focus on meeting Yourself first. Where are you, truly? Can you offer yourself kindness by being honest about your attachments at this moment? Can you recognize how acceptance is its own form of release? What kind of surrender is accessible to you in this very moment? It doesn’t matter what anyone says about where we should or should not be in our process. We can cut away certain energies over and over but they will always return if we refuse to see ourselves within what we are rejecting.

This eclipse season has Mercury moving backwards in the sky, welcoming nostalgia, past versions of self, old friends and lovers, forgotten experiences, and memories requiring our presence from exactly where we are/who we are in this very moment. That is how time truly flows, eternally through the present moment. The fact that the Nodes move clockwise through the zodiac while every other point and body moves counterclockwise speaks a lot to this experience. The way our future potentiality and past incarnations are in a constant conversation with our present, asking equally for our participation and surrender.

There is no way to fully predict an outcome, we just keep showing up and building new levels of trust through deepening our capacity for self honesty. Astrology can signal to us the unique ways that are suited best for us to go about this process while providing its own measure of personalized time. May this eclipse season bring you closer to yourself through each experience that calls more of you forward.

🌚🌞🌚🌞🌚

A few ways to purposefully activate yourself through eclipse season…

• Find a mix you made, an album you particularly obsessed over, a movie you enjoyed, or an activity that was important to you from April 2003 – Dec 2004 when the North Node was last in Taurus and see how you feel about it from the vantage point of who you are today.

• Repeat the above with the time period of Dec 2004 – June 2006 when the North Node was last in Aries. This may offer insight into what themes are coming for you in July 2023 – Jan 2025. / A few formative musical favs I was obsessing over both of the time and that were new-to-me then that I’m revisiting now .. A Better Version of Me – Rainer Maria, Surfer Rosa – Pixies, Advisory Committee – Mirah, From a Basement on the Hill – Elliott Smith, Seven Swans – Sufjan Stevens, Wish + Disintegration – The Cure, The Geography of Goodbyes – Hope and Anchor (local band and friends from where I lived at the time ☺️). What was on your radar then?

• Watch PEN15 on Hulu and go on a hilarious and heartfelt deep dive through adolescence from the literal embodiment of your present self. This show is genius and I can only imagine how intense and transformative it must have been to create and enact. It hits an especially resonate tone for anyone who was a tween during the late 90s early 2000s. It is an exploration of the experience of girlhood told via the perspective of 2 cisgender women, just a heads up and acknowledgment of that framing for anyone who needs it.

• When surrender feels particularly prickly, remember the safety that is your body upon the earth. Pull up some weeds, speak your heartache to a tree, put your feet in the river and stop trying.

I love you ❤️